As the ball drops at the real end of the millenium, the None More Comic gang look back at their lives and make their resolutions for the new year.

Phil: "I resolve to become less materialistic. No more reality, I'm sticking exculsively to video games from here on out."

Invisible Girl: "I resolve to become more intolerant to those who are intolerant. Those bastards!"

Eddie: I resolve to help curb our population growth. Never hurts to help. Well, except in this case."

Bayard Russell: "I resolve never to repeat myself."

Dan the Uber-Wench: "I resolve to make the world a better place by sticking my head in the sand and pretending that all the bad people don't exist."

Dude: "I resolve to lose my virginity to someone other than my hand."

Bayard Russell: "I resolve never to repeat myself... Oh shoot."

Tragically Hippo: "I to dress even more fashionably than last year, so more people will like me for who I really am."

Bayard Russell: "I resolve never to repeat... Oops, we already did this joke. Never mind."

Death: "I resolve to stop accepting tips when ferrying the dead over the River Styx. I mean, what in Hell do I need the money for? Pachenko?"

Bayard Russell: "I resolve nev... Hey! This is overkill, guys. It's not funny anymore, so cut it out."

Justin Bow: "No comment."

Bayard Russell: "I res... dammit. Fuckers!"