On the Pressing Issue of Guy Nipples
by Bayard Russell
In mainstream culture, it is a rule that women's nipples must be masked under the tyranny
of clothing and hidden from our eyes. Their nipples must only be hinted at through
translucent clothing or covered with the hands or hair like children that must not be left unattended.
And yet, guy nipples freely parade across our television screens, our magazines, and into our
hearts. How can we continue to censor one nipple while we let another nipple run free?
Equality must run both ways, and our societal conventions no longer make nipple-sense.
What reasons could we possibly use to justify this double-nipple-standard? We can no longer
say that a woman's nipples are more sexualized and therefore warranting cover. It is a well-known
fact that a man's nipples are also great erogenous zones, and depictions of strapping young shirtless
boys today are just as overtly sexual.
Gone is the clear distinction between women being wanted for their body
and men for their personality; men are now openly objectified and lusted after as well. Perhaps
even doused with water.
Yet, it still can be said that women's nipples are currently more "sexified" than men's nipples.
We must realize that it is the standard of hiding women's nipples that has elevated their status
in the first place. Censoring women's nipples has made
them "forbidden fruit" and therefore more valuable; our double-standard has served to create
the distinction, not merely to acknowledge it. If this standard was lifted, so would the heavy
sexual burden be lifted that has hung on women's nipples for centuries.
We need a new standard for nipple exposure. No longer can we divide nipples along gender lines.
Nipples are nipples, and should be treated equally under the sun.
Either men's and women's nipples both need to cover up, or they both should be allowed to
display themselves freely. It is our duty as citizens of the United States to promote a world
of nipple-fairness and nipple-equality.
What I'm saying is, either N'Sync should start wearing bras, or Britney Spears must pop her top.
Make the right choice, people. Thank you for your time.
Sorry to twist your nipple like that.